Don’t Blame God… (Marriage)

According as his divine power hath given unto us all things that pertain unto life and godliness, through the knowledge of him that hath called us to glory and virtue—2 Peter 1:3 (KJV)

For His divine power has bestowed upon us all things that [are requisite and suited] to life and godliness, through the [full, personal] knowledge of Him Who called us by and to His own glory and excellence (virtue).—2 Peter 1:3 (Amplified)

Things not working out in your marriage…then don’t blame God!

It has become commonplace for people to place blame when their expectations are not met. At home, in their marriage, in the workplace, or even in their spiritual lives; whenever there is disappointment or frustration, it has to be someone else’s fault. We live in a society where it is totally acceptable not to accept responsibility for what goes on in our lives. Yes, I am aware that sometimes we are the innocent party but that is the exception not the rule.

However, often we have control over the events in our lives but did not do our part to create positive results. In marriage, are we doing our part to create an atmosphere of love, appreciation and affection? If not, then do not be surprised if your spouse begins to give you in return exactly what you have been giving them. We should not enter into a relationship with someone to make us whole; we should be whole from the start. If we are not whole and love ourselves fully, then we cannot expect someone else to love us.

The completion of ourselves has to start with a relationship with God and allowing Him to mold us into the man or woman He wants us to be. Stop expecting our happiness to come from outside of ourselves—it has to come from within! That man or woman who you are connected to has to do the same thing and you cannot force it. God has given us the responsibility to take charge of our lives and circumstances.

Far too often, we are sitting around waiting on God to give us what we need to make our lives and especially our marriages, successful. But He has done that already. He has made us, gave His Son for us, and equipped us with His Spirit, given us His Word and the ability to use it. Now before you say that I have gone off of the deep end, consider this:

And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God who are the called according to his purpose.—Romans 8:28 (KJV)


We are assured and know that [God being a partner in their labor] all things work together and are [fitting into a plan] for good to and for those who love God and are called according to [His] design and purpose.—Romans 8:28 (Amplified)

God has a plan and a purpose for everyone that serves Him, and provides beforehand everything that is needed to carry out that plan and fulfill that purpose. Now, the fact that you may not see it all now, does in no way diminish the fact that it is there. What does that have to do with marriage? Everything! God plans for our marriage relationships to be an example of love and fidelity…the way He loves us (see Ephesians 5:21-33).

So, do you need help in your marriage? Do not blame God…ask Him what is the plan and purpose He has for it. Ask Him what you need to do to carry that out. Do not attempt to change your spouse because that is not your job…that belongs to the Lord. He, according to Romans 8:24-28, has given us everything we need to gain victory in our lives—including our marriages. So, ask yourselves, are you doing everything God will have you do?

Therefore, if there is a shortage of love or peace in your home, seek God through His Spirit and His Word for the answer to the problem that you are facing. Do everything He instructs you to do and trust Him for the results! God intends for us to live victoriously in every area of our lives and has given us what we need to experience that victory. So, when things are not right in your marriage…

Don’t blame God!!

Have Faith1st

©2012 Faith1st Ministries


Sebastian is a Christian, Author and Church Leadership trainer. His ministry calling, love for God, and His people; has led him into ministry of all types for over thirty years. He and his wife enjoy helping people in their walk of faith and finding solutions to the struggles of life, especially in the area of healing and marriage. Faith1st Blog is designed to open and continue the discussion on the subject of biblical "faith" as a "living" element of the Christian life. - "the just shall live by faith" - Habakkuk 2:4; Romans 1:17; Galatians 3:11; Hebrews 10:38 (KJV).

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Posted in Family, Marriage, Word of Faith
25 comments on “Don’t Blame God… (Marriage)
  1. Good News Devotions says:

    Enjoy’d my visit… Blessings … Bro Pat.


  2. Great message! There are also those of us that once totally blamed ourselves for our marriages falling apart. Not allowing the other spouse to own up to their own short comings, etc.. For me, I’m glad I had/have a relationship with my Lord and Savior to not allow myself to stay in that depressed and defeated state of mind for more than 24 hrs. #weapingmaybutjoycomes


    • Sebastian says:

      Hello and thank you! It is counter-productive to beat up and blame ourselves as well. When we find ourselves in that frame of mind, it would do well to follow David’s example in Psalms 121 and “…lift our eyes to the hills…” God is our help in every circumstance. Blessings to you!


  3. Sebastian,confirmation has been shown here. Blaming God or others just keeps us in denial and hinders our blessings. We must confess our wrong and correct the stone in our own eyes.


    • Sebastian says:

      Hello! Your point is so true. If we truly spend time correcting ourselves, we will not have time to try to correct others…that’s God’s job anyway! Thank you and may God continue to bless you!


  4. Yvette says:

    We will be celebrating 30 years of marriage in July, and we have had our ups and downs. Through the tough times, we had to realize who the real enemy is, and re-focus and get back on track.
    Blessings to you and your ministry


    • Sebastian says:

      Thank you Yvette. You make a good point about recognizing “who the real enemy is.” The Bible tells us that our fight is not with people as much as with the spirit that sometimes resides within a person. This is especially true within a marriage. To gain success when those trials come along, it is good to remember that your spouse is not the enemy! Thank you for your comment. Blessings to you and yours! — Sebastian


  5. scythewieldor says:

    Many avoid the knowledge Peter gives us in 1 Peter 2:20-24.
    We are called to suffer when we do well – just as Christ did. When we do so and remain patient, God’s attention is drawn to us to give us glory. I believe I remember an account of apostles giving thanks for being counted worthy to suffer for Christ’s name?
    What small sufferings must we endure successfully before we are counted so worthy?


  6. Amen Sebastian…God is not to blame. Very well written…Blessings Darrell


  7. Hey Sebastian,

    Just checking in with ya. Hope all is well. I hope you and your sweet wife have a great evening planned together.

    Be blessed and happy valentine’s day to the both of you!

    Do remember to tell the Lord thank you!!

    Your sister in Christ.



  8. Jill Weaver says:

    What a wonderful post! Early in our marriage when we were getting acquainted with what marriage meant, I would tell God you were wrong and to fix you. God would say to me “what about you.” Realizing that He would not answer that prayer, I began to look at myself. My prayers changed to “what did I do to bring about this behavior in him” and God promptly showed me the error of MY God must be the foundation and middleman in every marriage if it is to be successful.


    • Sebastian says:

      Hey Love! Isn’t it wonderful how God will take two people as different as we are and mold us into one loving and functioning unit? We could have continued with our own manner of thought but we turned ourselves over to God and His ways. Now we have a marriage that is blessed! Love you!


  9. vesselofgod says:

    How do you comfort someone who is being abused?


    • Sebastian says:

      Hello. I would comfort them by stressing, God does not intend for anyone to live that way! There are agencies that will help them and shelter them, if necessary. They need to ask God to give them the inspiration and courage to take whatever LAWFUL steps necessary to be in a healthy and safe environment. It is not my position for anyone to stay in an unhealthy situation. Furthermore, I would comfort them with the Word of God and prayer for the peace of God to enter into their lives.

      NOTE: The purpose of this post is to encourage the individual believers in a non-abusive marriage to know that God has given them responsibility in their marriage also, to use what He gives, and not to blame Him when we do not.

      Blessings to you! –Sebastian


  10. Debbie says:

    Wonderful, wonderful word! And so encouraging. Thank you! As the wife of an unbeliever, I thought as I prayed that my hubby would accept Jesus and everything would be coming up roses. 🙂 Instead, 25 years later, He is still helping me to have a right heart attitude and is changing me daily. It reminds me of when Peter asked Jesus what about John and Jesus said, “what is that to you?” I still pray for my hubby, but then listen to what He is telling me to do. Lately when things have been tense, His word to me was to be humble. It changed the dynamics immediately.
    God bless you! Sorry I rambled here! 🙂


    • Sebastian says:

      Hello…no apologies necessary! I appreciate your reply. I thank God for you having a heart to hear Him! Everyone’s experience will not be the same, but we all should be following God’s leading for OUR LIVES! Thank you for your encouragement! Blessings to you and your husband…may the grace of God see him come into the Kingdom very soon! Love you! –Sebastian


  11. Freedomborn says:

    Hi Sebastian thank you for this message it’s surprising how many do blame God for many things even indirectly or suger coated saying… He does evil to bring good out of it, which the Scriptures tell us this is slander.

    A women I know well, after her husband left her was told by other Christians God wanted him to leave to teach you something but knowing God’s Truth she rejected this because God never goes against His written word and He tells both Husbands and wives they are not to seperate from their husbands or wives even if they are not Christians.

    Regardless of who is to blame in a Marriage it is all about forgivness and as you said restoration, this is the essence of Christianty, holding onto bitterness and resentment is like mixing posion for the person who hurt you and drinking it yourself, it’s like cancer it eats you away and then Satan gets a foothold and eventually takes over.

    Thank you again Sebastian we do indeed have the victory in Christ Jesus.

    Christian Love Anne.


    • Sebastian says:

      Well put Anne…your comment is on point! We do ourselves a disservice to “blame” the only One who can truly help us in any circumstance. Thank you and again, well said. Bless you my sister! –Sebastian


  12. Ula says:

    Playing the blame game keeps us from growing up and taking responsibility for our own actions. It is a road to nowhere and the only way is the Jesus “Way” since He is the Way. Our relationship with Him roots us firmly in what is good and right and true, and this extends to all our relationships, but most especially that sanctified one, our marriage. Thanks for the post. 🙂


    • Sebastian says:

      Hello Ula! Thanks for checking in and for your comment! You are right that “playing the blame game…is a road to nowhere…” I so appreciate your input! Blessings to you and yours!



  13. desirayl says:

    You are so right we love to put the blame on others including God when first we need to be accountable for ourselves. I tell people all the time when things in your life aren’t working the first thing you need to check is your relationship with Jesus. Because if that is not right then nothing in your life will be right. And married people should already know this truth.


    • Sebastian says:

      Hello Desiray! I like the way you put that, “…the first thing you need to check is your relationship with Jesus.” It is the first place to start! As far as married couples, unfortunately far too many are not given the tools necessary to have a successful marriage! I will write more on that as God directs. Thanks for your input and bless you! –Sebastian


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